Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I no everything, just ask Me 2

Wow, the questions are pouring in from readers far and wide, everything from bicycles to cooking, you guys just want answers, and you came to the right place. Remember, there are no stupid questions, just questions not asked. Except that question I got from Jerry who lives in Lawrence, Kansas. I won't post his question, but Jerry if you are reading this, tell your Mom that you had a rash and were applying some type of healing ointment, and she should respect your privacy and knock before entering your room. Here we go.

"Matt, I live in an area with varied terrain, a lot of small hills, occasional flat stretches, and some steep inclines, my question is when looking for a bicycle to buy, how many speeds would you recommend?" Beth from Macon, Georgia

Thanks for the email Beth, that is a question I get asked a lot.  The truth is the number of gears is irrelevant, the range of gears is what is important. A lower gear to get you up those hills, and a higher gear to propel your bike down an incline if you want to go faster. Just like digital cameras and the megapixel race, bicycle companies are marketing the "more is better" and that is just not true.  A quality bicycle with seven or 8 speeds is all that you will ever need.  

"Yo Dude, my bike got ripped off, I had it chained to a lamp post and they still got it, your bike even(sic) been stolen and what can I do to prevant(sic) that?"  Jerry from Detroit, Michigan

Yo, Jerry the first thing you can do is move out of Detroit, since thieves in the "D" regularly break into schools and steal copper wiring, and since every metallic ornament and landmark in Detroit has been dug out and sold for a piece of the rock, your bike had no chance.  I'm guessing the lamp post was the victim, your bike just went along for the ride. You can register your bike with NBR, a firm that works with local law enforcement agencies to return stolen bicycles to their owner.  Bottom line, make it hard for the thieves to steal your bike, U Locks and cable locks, and know where not to go. 

"What should I make my boyfriend for dinner, we just started dating and I invited him over to my apartment for dinner but I am a terrible cook and need help!"  Amber from Greenville, South Carolina

Calm down Amber, you have several options.  First option is to not cook, that is what I would suggest. Why go through the hassle and expense just to feed the garbage disposal? Let's face it, Prince Charming is not over there to sample escargot is a white truffle sauce.  Just be honest, tell him you planned a nice dinner (lie) and you got caught up at work (lie) and you did not have time to properly prepare dinner (another lie) and let's just order a pizza.  If he says that he understands and pays the pizza guy when he gets there, you have a keeper.  If he calls his buddies and tells them there is a pizza party at your place, come on over, then it's time to change dating services.  Good luck and Bon Appetit!